There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
