I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
