I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
