I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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