sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
