What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
