wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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