forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
