ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
