I wanna bring you to show and tell
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it's like heaven, but drunker
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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