belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
