I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
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All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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