Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You are the jesus of drinking
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