i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There are leaves in my underwear?
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