laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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