how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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