The beer is more important than you right now.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
