I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
