So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
