It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
