Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If I die, sorry about rent.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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