..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize