dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
