But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
