Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
