Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
