you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize