He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
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How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
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If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i out mim tonsoeep
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