1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
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We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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