why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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