wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
