I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
