I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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