BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
