Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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