can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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