hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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