My nipple is on Facebook.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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