He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
