2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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