So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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