You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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