yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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