I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
