When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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