i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
