i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
