Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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