Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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