By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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