I need help removing her.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
