I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
