no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
