Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my shit smells like andre
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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