I have demons in me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
