ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
