Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
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