Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
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so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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