What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
