Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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