My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
